Sunday, October 24, 2021

Fourth Lesson of the Quarter: The Christian Home

 Today's lesson comes from Ephesians 5: 22-33; 6: 1-4. This teaching is woefully lacking in churches today, which in part explains why there are so many broken and dysfunctional homes. Paul's words will only find acceptance by those who know the Lord Jesus Christ. Those that just "confess Jesus" or "trust Jesus" will find them outdated and of little value. Paul was writing to believers and so am I. 

Paul lays out three keys to a happy home life, one that is pleasing to the Lord Jesus Christ. The unit of the home is vital to social order. Much of the chaos today can be traced back to dysfunctional homes. Let us study the words written to the believers at Ephesus on relationships in the home.

The first section is: "Submissive Wives." (vv. 5: 22-24) Paul begins by speaking to the wives. Wives are to "submit yourselves unto your own husbands." The word "submit" in verse 22 is not in the Greek, but it is implied from verse 21. The submission required is not an absolute submission. A wife is never required to do wrong, to violate moral principles, or to do that which would be destructive to herself, the home or others. Submission should take place in a home of mutual respect and love. The commentator Albert Barnes has suggested the following areas that the wife should submit to her husband: "the style of living, expenses of the family, clothing, duties of children, business affairs, in everything except matters of conscience and religion." 

I like to look to the example of the Lord Jesus Christ and the church. As Christ is the head of the church, the husband is the head of the wife. If we look at what Christ does for the church, we can see a role model for the husband to follow. Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it. He guides and protects the church. He always seek to do good for the church. The church responds in obedience to that love and protection. If a husband will love and protect his wife and always seek to do her good, submission to love will never be an issue in genuinely born again people. 

The summary points of this section are:

1. Wives are to submit to their own husband. 

2. Wives are never to submit to sin or matters that would violate moral principles.

3. The Lord Jesus Christ provides the perfect example of how to be the head of someone.

The second section is: "Loving Husbands." vv. 25-33 Paul now turns to husbands. I am of the opinion that the role of the husband has greater responsibility than the wife's duty to submit. The husband is to love his wife the way Christ loved the church. This includes the willingness to lay down your life for your wife. The husband is to be attentive to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of his wife, not someone else's wife. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church." A truly selfless love for his wife can only flow through a sanctified heart. 

Christ's love for His church transcends her shortcomings and failures. A husband is not to be critical of his wife, not focusing on her failures. Christ will have a church that is glorious and without spot or wrinkle. In the same way, the husband's love and care for his wife should be leading the wife in her spiritual journey helping her to mature in Christ.

Paul gives another standard for the love the husband is to show the wife. Husbands are to "love their wives as their own bodies." The husband is to consider his wife as "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." The husband is to protect and cherish the wife as if she was his own body. He is to always have her highest good  and well bing as his goal. Paul summarizes his instructions in verse 33: ""let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." The wife's duty is a courteous submission, no usurping of authority but a respectful trust.

The summary points of this section ar: 

1. Husbands are to love their wives the way Christ loved the church.

2. Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies.

3. Wives are to respect their husbands.

The third section is: Obedient Children. vv. 6: 1-4 After addressing wives and husbands, Paul turns to the children. Children are to "obey your parents in the Lord." Parents stand in the place of God to their children. The obedience required is to obey the parents when the parents give wishes in accordance to the will and word of God. The parent never has the authority to command a child to do that which is morally wrong. 

Children are to "honor thy father and mother." To honor one's parents is to render due regard, respect, obedience, relief and maintenance. Honoring Godly parents will keep a child from the vices and lifestyle which would shorten life. 

Paul closes his advice with directives to fathers. They are to "provoke not your children to wrath...." A parent should not give commands that are needless, unreasonable, or not achievable. Parents are called to correct, not to punish, their children. Further, parents are to "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Parents oversee the development of the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of their children's eternal soul. God wants to work through Godly parents and they will be accountable to God for how they raise their children.

The summary points of this section are:

1. Children are to obey their parents when the parents' commands are according to the will and Word of God.

2. Fathers should not give commands that are unreasonable and unachievable. 

3. Parents are to verse the development of their children's souls.

The Golden Text is: "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she severance her husband." (Ephesians. 5: 33) Husbands are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. When husbands and wives follow Biblical principles, it makes for a happy home. When either or both violate Biblical principles, there will be dysfunction in the home and the children will suffer. We owe it to each other and to our children to follow the will and Word of God.

Next week: "A Servant Reclaimed." (Philemon 1: 4-19) 

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